Too busy for therapy? That’s just your lazy ass dodging tough decisions. You’re not swamped—you’re scared of facing your crap. Own it, book it, and grow up already.
Ever notice your bank account hemorrhaging cash thanks to your idiotic spending? Enough nonsense—stop sabotaging your future and start acting like you actually care about your money. Grow up!
Oh, so you think you’re a failure? Cute. You’re not. You’re just marinating in the same tired, self-pitying thoughts on repeat like a broken record. Newsflash: Your brain is lying
Oh, so you light a candle and take a deep breath and suddenly you're enlightened? Please. Being present means actually paying attention—not just nodding while mentally drafting your next email.
Congrats, you're exhausted! But hey, at least you're “grinding,” right? Hustle culture has you convinced that sleep is for failures and burnout is a badge of honor. Newsflash: you’re not
Oh, so your money woes are a mystery, huh? News flash: your bank account didn't spontaneously combust. Time to face the music—your financial mess is 100% your own chaotic masterpiece.
Oh, you’re waiting for motivation? How cute. Here’s the truth: motivation is flaky, unreliable, and vanishes the second things get hard. Discipline, on the other hand, doesn’t care if you’re
Oh, you’re so stressed? Congrats, do you want a medal or just more caffeine? Newsflash: Stress isn’t a personality trait, it’s a problem—one you’re wearing like a badge of honor.
Oh, bless your heart—another “good vibes only” sermon no one asked for. Newsflash: life isn’t a Lisa Frank sticker book. Forcing positivity down everyone’s throat doesn’t make you enlightened—it makes
Oh wow, you lit a candle and put on a face mask? Congrats, you’re totally taking care of yourself. Spoiler alert: Real self-care is answering that email, paying your bills,